The Marauders Talkshow!
by Ashley Black
Summary: The Marauders talkshow Please R/R


Disclaimer: I don't own anything on this little ficcy thing. So don't sue./p  
And the words in Parenthases are what Im saying.  
The Marauders Talk Show  
Spoilers: none (I think)  
Author Lady Person: Welcoooooooome to the Marauders Talk Show!!!!!! Featuring The one and only glamorous Lily Evans. The extremely annoying (A/n: and hot) Sirius Black. The really good looking Quidditch Player James Potter. The Quiet one (A/N: except on Full moons. Remus: I heard that!!) Remus Lupin. Oh right and the little fat kid Peter Pettigrew.  
::Marauders enter and sit in squishy chairs while fans scream wildly::  
  
Lily: Thanks Author Lady. Anyway onto todays show.  
Remus: As you know us being all rich and famous, we get a lot of fan letters. On this show we are going to read you some and answer them on TV, have guest speakers, and give Slytherins we really don't like terrible dares they Must do because Author Lady says so.  
Sirius: Who is My Girlfriend. ::lots of crying heard fom audience:: Oh I know, but I love her.  
(smiles happily)  
James: Whatever anyway first we will read some letters. This first one is from An Extremely Pissed Hufflepuff Classmate.  
Remus: He writes,  
Why do you damm Marauders always have to win. I mean I could have been the talk of the school in my year. But NOOOOOOO you Marauders had to go and ruin it. It was always a big fight between you and those Slytherins. If it weren't for you we might have even one a Quidditch game or two. The only thing I am is a damm seer. You wanna know how I see you guys in ten years. Sirius a MURDERER, Remus a TEACHER, Lily and James DEAD, and Pettigrew a DEATHEATER (A/N: Thats right DIE PETER). I mean come on.   
Sincererly,  
A Pissed off Hufflepuff Classmate  
Lily: Okay hold up. Pettigrew, A Death Eater? Are you kidding He is a damn gay guy. Scared of his own bloody shadow. A death eater my ass.  
James: And another thing you wanna know why you weren't popular. It is because you were shy and quiet. If you wanted to help us, all you had to do was ask.  
Sirius: I like eggs  
Everyone else: ::looks at him strangly::  
Remus: Righttttttttttt... Anyways, Sirius would never hurt a fly. Maybe a Slytherin, but never a fly.   
Lily: And they started the "big fight". We so did not start it.  
Peter: So SHUT UP TRELAWNEY  
James: Peter you ass. You weren't supposed to say her name.  
Remus: Why does it really matter. Not like anyone likes her.  
(::starts waving her hands up and down, signaling a commercial::)  
James: I think the Author Lady is hungry.  
Sirius:NO she is yawning and streching. She is tired.   
Remus: NO she is waving to Josh Hartnett over there.  
::Josh Hartnett fans run screaming::  
Peter: I think she is signaling danger  
Lily: NO you dumbasses, Author Lady is signaling a commercial!  
Sirius: How do you know:  
Other three: Yeah how do you know?   
Lily: ::holds up book titled iUnderstanding Author signals Volume 1::  
(::breaths sigh of relief::)  
Lily: We will be right back after this commercial break.  
  
**COMMERCIAL**  
::Snape comes out in a silky black nightgown. Everyone watching it is screaming in Horror and covering their eyes::  
Snape: You want hair like mine?  
Audience: NO!!!!!  
Snape: Well too bad! Just buy Sevviekins Shampoo today to have the sweet smell of rotton eggs in your hair::purrs::  
::Audience runs out screaming::  
**End Commercial**  
Remus: Okay, welcome back. I see Snapes commercial didn't scare you off.  
(it was bad)  
Sirius: No need to tell us that  
(sorry)  
Sirius: It ok. It was still amusing, though.  
(good)  
Sirius: Anyway we are looking for girlfriends for Remus and Peter. We also need a boyfriend for my little sister Amber, so she will stop drooling over James. She is coming next episode.  
Lily: God help us.  
James: Anyway it is time for Dare the asshole! Todays dare goes to Malfoy. His dare is to shag Peter. Ya know Pete the Author LAdy must not like you.  
Lily: I wonder why she is even bothering with that dear. According to some other ficcy, the only thing that would actually let Malfoy shag it was Narcissa Crestfallen.  
Remus: That Slytherin slut?   
Lily: Yep.  
Sirius: Oh well, okay author lady do your stuff.  
::Malfoy appears and Peter starts whimpering::  
Lily: On the count of three...  
Remus: one  
Sirius: two  
James: three  
::Malfoy starts shagging Peter as he tries to run away::  
Sirius: Oh God get a room!!  
Malfoy: Okay! ::drags Peter off::  
Lily: Okay thats it! See you all tommarrow! We have some guest speakers!  
Sirius: Lets go get some icecream.  
*************************  
(okay thats it! If you wouolod like to appear on the show, give me a dare, or write a letter to the MArauders you can! Just review!  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
la  
lol sry lylas! 


End file.
